Monday, 12 June 2017

Definitely No More

As I said last time, this dating lark online is scarey.

I got close to meeting someone really nice and then I got cold feet. I thought he would probably say goodbye or never contact me again after he got back to his normal life. So, rather than wait for that hurt, I ended it, and I wasn't very polite about it.

Now I am sad about it, but there is nothing I can do, except make sure it doesn't happen again.  I'm not going to do the online thing any more.

Anyway - I'll bounce back from that self-inflicted wound I expect and maybe there'll be a second chance, but I wish I had let the thing run its course...

Not everything is bad, though - here is tonight's dinner - spaghetti with chilli oil (my own piri-piris) and home-grown coriander...

Spaghetti with chili oil

Sunday, 11 June 2017

Dating - No More

I don't think I'm cut out for this dating lark.

I guess I'm scared really.  When you've been so long on your own, the thought of offering yourself up, as it were, to someone you have never met, is pretty frightening.

At first it seems easy just chat -you can say anything you like. Talk as if the guy was an old friend, flirt a little maybe.  But this isn't a good idea. Best to take it slowly and steadily - find out lots about him.

Let him ask questions of you. If he doesn't  then he's probably:

  1. not interested in you 
  2. very busy at the moment
  3. a supreme egotist
...but don't do what I did - tell him he is able to relate better to chickens than people!

No - that never works...

Friday, 9 June 2017

Dating or Just Dated (2)

News on the dating front - it's going reasonably well. More on that another time.

The weather here has been weird - very mixed. From bright, hot sunshine to cold, pouring rain; thunderstorms, lightning etc. But that's June for you.

One year we had hailstones as big as marbles!

But not this year, thank goodness!

I have been busy with the potager and everything's going fine.  The beetroot are growing apace and I don't know what I'm going to do with them all...

They are nuch bigger than when I took this photo - about golf ball size now.

Weeded potager

Also I have been eating home-grown lettuce...

Lettuce from the garden

Tonight's dinner

...and it is delicious!

On Monday I planted brussels sprouts (from a friend) and today I have planted out my tomatoes. They are really tiny, and I fear for their future!

The potatoes - out in the back - are doing well too and are in flower.

Oh, and I fogot to mention the butternut squash! so there'll be lots to eat in a few months!

Thursday, 8 June 2017

A Sticky Situation

Sorry - I couldn't resist that as a title.

What I have learned today is that I will never pass my City and Guilds in floor tile laying. Sticky-backed floor tiles.

And I am running out of Sticky Label remover to clean my fingers :-(

I did the spare room bathroom at least 2 years ago - probably 3, which is why I have put this one off for so long.

It's a bit like that old music hall song, 'When father papered the ceiling'...

I don't know what the adhesive on the tiles is, but it's black and VERY sticky.

Last time I got it in  my hair and everywhere. Not doing that today....

And it's a very hot day. And I've just  broken the spacebar on this computer, so you may notice some very odd typing!

I think I'm going to leave it for now and take up the tiles I've done and just paint the contreplaquƩ (plywood).

It will soon be wine o'clock...

Thursday, 1 June 2017

Good News

... on the Dating front.  I've come across someone who looks interesting :-) I can't stop smiling.

Maybe it will come to nothing but, for the moment, it's making life a bit brighter.

I'll tell you more about it if it goes any further....

For the moment it's back to the weather again - beautiful but with the promise of a storm later...

It's hard to believe there will be thunder and lightning, maybe torrential rain and tempestuous winds, and I just wonder if the French weathermen are having a little laugh up their manches as everyone rushes (like me) to get their washing in.

Hey - I've just realised that La Manche (the English Channel) is, as far as the French are concerned, a sleeve.

Cinders is enjoying the good weather although, obviously, it's tiring...

Laid back (and yawning) cat

And, Joy, thank you for keeping me positive!

Sunday, 28 May 2017

Dating or Dated?

It has been so hot here lately that I had to get some trousers other than my jeans.  I love my jeans and am seldom seen out of them, and I almost NEVER wear  a dress or skirt. Maybe I would if I had long, slender, tanned legs but short legs and chubby thighs run in my family...

Anyway, I bought some Thai Fishermens' pants which looked really cool for the summer weather.  What I didn't realise is that they are about a metre wide and you have to kind of wrap them around you and tie the strings round your waist to wear them.  Of sourse, although that is fine, it does mean that if you wear a loose blouse or T-shirt over them you have this strange bulge in the front, where your waist should be.  If you have the figure to wear a crop top then you're fine!  Unfortunately, I don't...

Thai Fishermens' pants

Still, they ARE cool ( in the sense of not making you hot when you wear them) and I know I probably shouldn't care so much about what I look like.

And that brings me on to the subject of this post.

My last post was all about loneliness and I finally decided that I would never find someone to care about me unless I made some sort of effort.  No - I don't mean plastic surgery (that's beyond my means) - I mean Internet Dating.  Ta Dah!!!!

So I joined the dating site of a well-known British newspaper...

You can put on all the information you want to, including pictures, for free, but if you want to contact someone who is designated as a 'match' for you, you have to pay.  You CAN send them what the site calls a 'one-liner' and there are 15 of these to choose from - all dreadful!

If you want to say more than this - you have to pay. Of course.  'How much?' I hear you ask - well for just one month it's £32.  It reduces if you subscribe for longer, but how much is enough to pay for someone you have never met - sometimes never seen (only 14% add a photo to their profile) - just so that you can have a few words with them to find out if they might be interesting.

I filled in my form very honestly - my correct age and very recent photos.  I'm not sure everyone was quite as honest...

I suppose I shoudn't have been surprised to find that men want a woman who is younger than them, whereas I would be happy to find a man the same age as me, or older. Perhaps that was predictable.  Maybe we all have an idea of the person we are looking for (not that I have) and they are probably not some old fogey.

Still, I have not had any luck so far.  I got a reply from one man who ended up taking everything I said the wrong way.  He seemed to be a bitter man, angry about the way life had treated him. Not a good start. Needless to say we don't email any more :-)

While my month's membership was still active I decided to email as many men as I felt might be vaguely compatible with me.  Only two responded.  One was laid up in a hospital bed, the other had not subscribed and could only send one-liners.  After 3 of those I replied that I would not correspond with him any more, as he hadn't even posted a photo!

So, a little despondent, I am still waiting for my 'match'. Out here, in rural France, there is very little chance of meeting a man in the normal way of things - whatever that 'normal way of things' might be.  I'm not looking for perfection, I'm probably not perfect myself (that's a joke by the way) just someone I can talk to  and maybe share some of life's little pleasures with.  Even a walk is very little fun if you are on your own...

Oh, by the way, if you have a good male friend that you think might be just my sort - don't hesitate to put him in touch with me!

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Ask the Universe

I found this quote today...

...posted by a friend who, like me is a lonely lady hoping to find a new man.  So far she has kissed a couple of frogs (as I understand it) but still not found her Prince.

Another friend told me that her philosophy was to ask the Universe (and she IS sane) for the answer and wait patiently - which is much the same as 'promised' in the quote.

Now this is not an easy thing, because there is no easy answer to being lonely. It's not just a question of being with someone, or in a group of people - in fact it is often in a group that I feel the most lonely, especially when everyone else is there with their partner.  They all split up in twos and threes and go home and I wander off to my car and go back to my empty house.

Sometimes I feel that the times of chatter and laughter just intensify the other times, when there is no-one but the cat to talk to.  And she's not very good at the responses unless the subject is a just-opened tin of tuna!

I had the most amazing love and he is not here any more. I find it hard to believe that I will ever have it again.

So I do try to share my heart - which I take to mean being kind to people and trying to help if there is a need - but it does seem like a long and lonely road...